Dear Active Rest

Dear Active Rest,

Seriously man, what gives? Are you an activity or are you rest? You just can’t be both.

It’s like Nacho Libre says, “I want a hot body but I also want tacos.” You see he can’t have both because he knows the tacos will make him not have a hot body.

You can’t be both active and rest. I mean what if I said, “I’m on this carbed out paleo diet!” Uh, yeah, doesn’t work.

The only thing like this that works is Icy Hot, and that’s even dicey at best. If you’re a guy and that gets too close to your guy parts, let’s just say there’s no ice. Lots of hot, oh so very hot.

When I think of active rest I think of me dreaming about being Lebron James and dunking on fools non-stop, but even in that dream sometimes I’m in San Antonio and I cramp up. Even when I’m truly resting and active it still can end badly. 

So seriously, make up your mind, dude. What are you? I’m tired of your multiple personalities. Either you are an activity or rest. I’ll let you choose, I don’t care, but make up your mind.

Awaiting your decision,


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