Dear Lactose Intolerant People

Dear Lactose Intolerant People,

I used to feel sorry for you. You know since every party you went to only had delicious cheesy food. Mac and cheese, rotel, cheese brats, cheesy potatoes, meat and cheese… Without sounding like the Bubba of cheese I’ll stop, but you get the point.

I felt bad you couldn’t eat it, but now I know. I know what cheese does… Since going paleo I’ve cut out a few items, mainly fast food, root brewskis, bread, and cheese. Prior to cutting these items out I was like a volcano after I ate. Looking back on this, there is only one thing in every meal that was the same-cheese!

Not eating cheese has been the greatest/worst thing I’ve ever done. I’m no longer a bomb about to explode waiting on MacGruber to disarm, who never disarms anything. I can eat freely at a party without having to search out the super secret bathroom in the place I’m at. I’m sure you’ve seen the scene in Ace Ventura… “Do NOT go in there,” or the scene in Dumb and Dumber where Lloyd gives Harry some laxatives may explains my sitch, but I think you get the point.

So, yeah, lactose intolerant people, I’m tired of it. Your struggle pales in comparison to what I have to deal with after consuming 3000 calories of cheese at a party.

All that said, I think I’ll be joining you in your complaint of cheese only dishes being served at parties. Thanks to paleo I’m ditching cheese, unless it’s a cheeseburger or pizza (I’m not a savage.)

In summation, I now annoy myself and can’t stand how annoying I am about cheese at parties.


A Lactose Intolerant Bro

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