Hey man, I’m your biggest fan! Actually, that’s probably a lie, sorry to start our friendship off on the wrong foot. If I had to guess I’d say I’m probably you 863,789th fan.
Anyway, your abs inspire me, bro. I decided to start dieting to be like you, but I’m talking Dear John you, not Magic Mike you. Magic Mike you is yucky. 56 other members of my pack are joining me on this journey. Some already look like you, me, I got a dad bod, but it’s cool.
I see you’re gluten free, have you ever done paleo? You can’t eat donuts, bro. Yeah, you read that right. How’s one live without donuts? Do you know if they make paleo pizza?
I ate eggs and avocado, split pea soup, and chicken and veggies today. I wasn’t brave enough to Instagram my food like some. I did crush some almonds. My buddy launched one 30 feet across the office and I caught it in my mouth. I almost choked but it was still cool.
Diets aren’t that bad I guess. Maybe one day I’ll be on the cover of GQ. People sometimes tell me I’m the bearded Channing Tatum.
Well, bro, I appreciate you lending an ear. I’ll be updating this blog with my progress.
Your 863,789th Fan